Ecclesiastes-Based Real Estate Advice
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| The Private Intellectual Ecclesiastes-Based Real Estate Advice |
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Friday, April 09, 2010 Throwing the SCOTUS Long-Ball Being hampered by no actual knowledge of the plausible candidates and enjoying idle speculation, I thought I'd toss a few out-of-box names for the Prez's consideration. Russ Feingold Pros: Seriously. Very sharp legal mind, lots of judiciary committee experience, not a hack or a wanker, skeptical of state power, suspicious of executive power, guaranteed to leave everybody scraping their jaws off the floor at some point in every term. Cons: Obama cannot cannibalize his Senate majority any further. Also, see the above. Eric Holder Pros: Believes in the rule of law, seems very smart, two consecutive non-white appointments would make Rush Limbaugh launch into outer space and leave Stuart Taylor Jr. weeping heavy tears for the death of the white guys' meritocracy. Cons: Mustache. Hillary Clinton Pros: Great all-around experience at this point; everybody apparently has to like her now; lightning-quick knee to Scalia's original intentions if he tries anything. Cons: There can't possibly be three women simultaneously qualified enough to serve on highest court. Uhhh...too old? Mitt Romney Pros: Republican, but totally unprincipled, so a perfect trans-partisan choice; Obama gets to make a second historical pick, naming the court's first Synthetic-American; lack of legal experience easily rectified by downloading a Potter Stewart module. Cons: Vulnerable to hackers, power outages, and cyber-attacks Charlie Crist Pros: Help a brother out? Cons: Less popular among Republicans than Hillary Clinton Dawn Johnsen Pros: Against torture, well-regarded, powerful "Suck. On. This" factor Cons: Anti-torture stance guarantees GOP filibuster. Liz Ptacek Pros: While it will be argued that she's only on the list because she's my friend, she will assemble majorities with compelling cute cat stories and profoundly persuasive bloody mary skills; will galvanize Chicago's bluegrass community; almost graduated from law school. Cons: America not yet ready for a justice of Slavic descent. Richard M. Daley Pros: I think he went to law school, personal rapport with president, thoroughly vetted, will bring in Frank Gehry to reboot dreary SCOTUS building, lots of 9-0 decisions Cons: None. Labels: Daley, Feingold, Hillary Clinton, Mitt Romney, supreme court posted by Benjamin Dueholm | 5:02 PM
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